im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
we're so committed to being not committed
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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