i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
