somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
