Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
