did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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