did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
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