yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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