u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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