...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
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By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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