So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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