Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
