everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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