stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
