So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
