he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
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