im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
