omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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