I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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