I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize