no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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