That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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