You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
