Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
