Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
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I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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