I wish life had little blips of pornography
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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