im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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