i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
