see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
farters have to be the big spoon...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize