thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
