So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
another moral hangover. fuck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I have aggressive nipples.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
