I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
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