...so i touched it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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