Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
