so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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