I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Randomize
