"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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