She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
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