His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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