my mouth tastes like poor choices
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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