so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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