Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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