I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
whose parrot is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize