Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
