Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
