i think i have two assholes
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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