I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
