i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
