my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
