I have demons in me.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize
