u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Can I color on your dick again?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
