smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'm always down for nudity.
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