I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
