okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
