If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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