thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
