i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so let's talk penis.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
