It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Floor bacon is actually really good
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize