well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
