We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
